Kenzie’s story improved

In English, we were learning a defeat the monster text. This week, it was invention week and Kenzie wrote his although it could be made better by adding detail.

Before we edited it: 😀

Ben went in first as Sam staggered behind him. There they were, bodies covered in flames and eyes crimson red and the same evil smirk on nightmare’s face. Nightmare was covered in flames. He stomped towards them. Spark wanted to kill it although it was too late.

After we edited it: 📝

Recommendation:The thing about Jellyfish

The thing about Jellyfish is a gripping story about a girl called Suzy who lost her ex-friend and is heart- broken and dosen’t want to speak aloud.Then she suddenly becomes obsessed with Jellyfish because she believes it caused her best friends death.Will she ever find out…

An extract-The Beginning:

Jellyfish,if you watch the long enough, begins to look like a heart beating.It dosen’t matter what kind:the blood-red Atolla with its flashing siren lights,the frilly flower hat variety,or near-transparent moon Jelly,Aurelia Aurita. It’s their pulse,the way they contract swiftly,then release.Like a ghost heart-a heart you can see right through,right into some other world where everything you ever lost has gone to hide.

Jellyfish don’t even have hearts,of course-no heart,no brain,no bone,no blood.But watch them for a while.You will see them beating.

 

The long wait

“Victory is mine ” Sami yelled . He walked over to the Tibicena and rested his foot on the dead , lifeless body. I couldn’t believe he was going to leave me here . I watched in horror  as Sami walked leaving me here in pain 

The discovery

Hours felt like years , I was left alone in this dark and cold place . All of a sudden , I saw a speck of light . Immediately , I stood up and slowly walked towards the light . I was almost blinded . Being clever, being careful , I hesitated and heard the howls nearby . The ground began to shake . I yelled  as  I heard a ‘Crack’. Gradually  I realised 1 thing ……

The Tibicena – MY STORY – Sequel

And that was when they saw it. Blood scattered on the floor . Sami was exhausted . Their shaped bodies were silhouetted across the floor and it had just turned morning . They were there ,waiting and waiting for ages and ages. They both laid still.

The skies turned darker than darkness and the cave turned colder than coldness. Sami’s  eyes looked jaundiced and his nails were longer than ever and he looked angry and as red as a tomato.

His skin looked dead and hair smeared across his arm . He looked familiar – in the bad way. The Tibicena was alive but Joffrey knew it was Sami. Sami looked grim and growled savagely at him. Joffrey was powerless.

As the sun rose, Sami laid on the floor imprisoned by his own brother. He turned to face him, looking fierce while he glared at him with his bloodshot eyes. When Joffrey stood up, he helped Sami, leaving him powerless and cold.

Suddenly, Sami’s face turned red and his arms started to shake. he looked as if he was going to pop and scream until the cave walls fell down. Joffrey felt the same way. Joffrey looked perplexed for a minute , looking characterless infront of Sami, who surveyed him with rage. Jofrrey could feel the claws running down his skin. Then darkness…

Blood started to scatter down their bodies and the cave was a black hole – a silent , screaming mouth in the face of a rocky hill – it was Sami’s now. And now Joffrey was one of the victims that will never be found again.

The Tibicena 2

And that’s when the saw it. A scaly rash ran down Sami’s arm. Green goo started to seep out of Sami’s hand. What was he turning into? Suddenly two large horns started to stick out of his head growing and growing Sami was turning into a beast. As Sami was walking claws started to point out oh his skin.

He ripped of his clothes, Joffey could  not say another word but

“What is happening to you?”and then a big roar bellowed out of his mouth, he was a beast now.

As quick as a flash, Sami came charging back to our village, taking out life stock; burning houses down and killing the young and old. He had to go back.

As I shuffled back to the cave Joffey mum came charging to him and said:

“Where  were you?, I was so worried.” Joffey had to tell mum.

“Sami has turned into the Tibicena”.

“WHAT!” she screamed as Joffey ran towards him.”

“I’m going with you.”

Sami was going crazy.”

Sami was going mental; he was jumping off the cave walls like a monkey jumping from tree to tree. Joffey and mum were in the cave; they had to stop Sami. As Joffey  stepped forwards, mum stepped backward trying to hide behind a rock. As Sami used all of his might, the cave came tumbling down. Trying to stay calm trying to be clever Joffey grabbed mums arm and ran out of

“cough cough.” As Sami punched the rocks in to shatters and his contorted hand reached out of his back, I knew I had to do something. This was not right. Sami was the Tibicena.

It was colder than coldness . No-one was around .

A statue of a man grey and lifeless stared at me with cold , dead eyes . Within the dark , dank , damp cemetery gloom gathered ; it was as silent as smoke . Graves towered over everything casting shadows onto me.